The Frustration of Prayer

It frustrates me to no end when people I talk to share how God brought something good into their lives due to prayer. This idea that communing with the being that made the universe extends to the mundane aspects of our life shows how sheltered and naive North America has become to larger issues both at home and around the world.

I had lunch with someone recently who shared that he had to fight for a benefit of his job that was in jeopardy of being taken away (minor benefit...think travel budget a couple of times a year). He said to me, "I had to fight for it, but I got it. And you know what was different? I prayed about it."

Over the last few years, a friend of mine has been going through hell on Earth: his wife had been struggling with cancer for almost a decade. She died last month, not even 30 yet, leaving him without the love of his life and their 5 children without a mother. He would send email updates about her status, all the while talking about God's grace, his goodness, and that they were constantly praying.

Prayer should not be seen as a toy list handed to Santa at Christmas. Prayer, in its truest form, should be about conversing with the Creator about making us better people, raising others up as a sacrifice (although we have the ability to have personal time with god, the idea of giving that time in pleading for another has deeper meaning when you really think about it), and sharing our life concerns.

But what has been taught in churches for decades is that God wants to know all aspects of our lives, and play into those aspects no matter how silly they seem. I worked with youth and heard everything from asking that their sports team plays well, to passing exams, to helping people read their Bibles more (because most Christians seem to struggle with this).

The way Christians use and market the power of prayer does nothing to validate it. If anything, it shows that God can do anything...as long as its really small. Cure cancer, save a life, stop a war? Sorry...you're out of luck.

Seeker

My belief is waning. My view of Christianity as a faith with deep roots and a solid historical foundation is starting to give way to a reality where there is no god...or at least, not the one described in the Bible.

Removed from the societal pressures of being part of a congregation, I've been able to explore different avenues of thought, of history, of science. I've listened to arguments for and against creationism, the validity of the Bible, and difficult questions around believing in a loving God while reading the atrocities he commanded be done.

Who is God? How can I believe in an all loving, all caring, kind and gentle being when the old testament is filled with counter-examples? How can I believe that he has my best interests in mind when until 2000 years ago I'd have no chance of salvation (not being Jewish)?

Who was Jesus? Was he really who we've been led to believe, or is he an enigma...something totally different and simply the target of a 2000 year old marketing campaign?

And what of us as Humans? What are we? If we aren't the firstborn of creation, if we aren't the pinnacle, if we aren't created in God's own image, then what are we? How did we get here? What value and purpose can our life hold if nobody is there to grant it to us?

These are things that I've struggled with and continue to work through. My blog will be taking a turn from previous posts. This is no longer just a Christian commenting on Christianity. This is a human, trying to determine what role faith plays in day to day life.

I hope you enjoy being along for the ride and sharing in the experience.